I remember this day like it was just yesterday. I was in a funk, rut, hole, or pit, whatever you want to call it. I felt like someone had come up to me and sucked all the life out of me. You know those days where you’re just not inspired at all and you feel like you have nothing to give back to the world? I was supposed to go mow and make money but instead of making plans to work I stopped at Wawa on my way out of town and grabbed a black coffee and a Quest bar. With my two film cameras shoved in my passenger seat I decided to go on an adventure. I was going to drive to the beach (which is about an hour drive from where I live) and stop anywhere and everywhere to photograph what I loved. Let’s just say I stopped at a lot of cow pastures and dirt roads. The farm girl was coming out of me.
Then I made it to the beach. I set up my umbrella and sat there listening to the crashing of the waves as my hair blew in the wind whichever way it wanted to go. I pulled my blue, plastic Holga (a $35 film camera) out of my bag and went to finishing my roll. As I was sitting in the water waiting for a perfect shot to come my way I prayed that the Lord would send a bird for me to photograph. They were flying all around me but whenever I went to pick up my camera I would miss them and with the Holga everything is tricky about getting a good photograph. There isn’t a way to automatically focus and you have to stand a certain amount of feet away to get the photograph. All that to say God sent me this bird you see and I snapped that photograph proudly. Given at the time I had NO idea if it would come out but it did. He is so kind to me.
All the photographs I received back from this roll are my favorite Holga photos I’ve ever taken? I really believe it’s because they weren’t forced or rushed. I was in my happy place photographing what I wanted. We all need grace not only to extend toward other people but toward ourselves too. If you’re feeling discouraged that you aren’t making anything all inspiring then plan to take a break. Take a break from what you’re constantly doing and go create or do something that makes you feel alive again!